by HARVEYOPP | Jun 7, 2016 | Paul Tripp
The first word that’s essential to building a grace-based family is SURRENDER.
When I first asked Luella to marry me, I didn’t have a clue about what it meant to surrender. As I look back on the early years of marriage, much of our struggles could have been avoided if I knew how to surrender.
By the time our children came along, I still hadn’t mastered this concept of surrendering. With each new stage of their life, I had to learn to surrender in a different way. Again, many of the mistakes I made as a parent could have been circumvented if I had only known how to surrender.
So how can you avoid these mistakes and struggles? The answer is found in one sentence of one prayer: “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:10)
As a spouse, as a parent, as as child, or as a sibling, you can build a family of love by surrendering your kingdom to God’s kingdom, by surrendering your will to God’s will, and by surrendering your earthly desires to God’s heavenly desires.
If God isn’t in his rightful place at the center of your family, guess who you’ll stick in his place? Yourself! You’ll make it all about you – your schedule, your pleasure, your control. And if everyone in the family is vying for the throne of the home, you’ll experience endless conflict, criticism, and dissatisfication. Some of you are experiencing that chaos right now.
Let’s be honest today: our biggest problem isn’t that we don’t love our spouse or our child or our parent or our sibling enough. Our most significant struggle is that we don’t surrender to God enough. When we fail to surrender to God as we should, then we won’t love the people in our family in the way that he calls us to love.
Are you ready to surrender and experience a beautiful, grace-based family? You need to understand this: surrender is not an event; it’s a process. Every day you need to surrender again, because as long as sin remains in your heart, you’ll have a desire to stick yourself in the center of your family and make it all about you.
Cry out to Jesus today and say, “I’m not very good at surrendering, but I want to be.” Christ will meet you in your weakness – he loves to respond to people who, in brokeness, seek him for help.
by HARVEYOPP | Jun 7, 2016 | Scott Henry
“He who does not love does not know God, for God is love” (1 John 4:8).
Throughout the book of 1 John the apostle is very concerned to exhort Christians to love one another — not just in word, but in action. And John has emphasized this in many different ways throughout his first epistle. For instance, 1 John 2:8-9 he calls us to love one another because love is what God commands. In chapter 3:14-15, John wrote that believers need to love one another because true love is evidence that we have been made a new creation in Christ. Love is evidence that the Spirit of God has changed us on the inside, translated us from darkness to light, and abundantly poured forth His love in hearts. Jesus said to His disciples in John 13:35: “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another as I have loved you.” The Apostle Paul said that the greatest of God’s gifts to mankind is love (1 Cor. 13:13). And the love that God pours forth in the heart of His redeemed people is seen by godly characteristics: “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails” (1 Cor. 13:4-8).
In 1 John 4:7-16, John argues that we ought to love one another because God is love, and God has demonstrated His love by giving His Son for our redemption. Therefore, if we have been adopted into the family of God, and are being conformed into the image of Jesus Christ, then we ought to love one another in the same manner that God has loved us. Yes, it’s a challenge to manifest this kind of love in the life of the church because of the struggle against old sinful thoughts, habits, and desires, but that’s exactly why the Scripture continually exhorts believers to love one another. “Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law. And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed” (Rom. 13:10-11). “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God” (1 John 4:7).
by HARVEYOPP | Apr 30, 2016 | RC Sproul
We should take notice of what Jesus did not say in the Great Commission. He did not say, “Go therefore and make converts of as many people as possible.”
All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age. (Matt. 28:18-20)
One of the most exciting times of my life was when I was first converted to Christ. I was filled with a zeal for evangelism. However, much to my consternation, when I told my friends about my conversion to Christ, they thought I was crazy. They were tragically amused, remaining unconvinced despite my sharing the gospel with them. Finally, they asked me, “Why don’t you start a class and teach us what you have learned about Jesus?” They were serious. I was elated. We scheduled a time to meet, and I got there a little bit early—but they never showed up.
Despite my profound desire for evangelism, I was a failure at it. This realization came to me early in my ministry. Yet, I also discovered that there are many people whom Christ has called and whom He has gifted by His Spirit to be particularly effective in evangelism. To this day, I’m surprised if anybody attributes their conversion in some part to my influence. In one respect, I’m glad that the Great Commission is not a commission principally to evangelism.
The words that preceded Jesus’ commission were these: “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.” He then went on to say, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations.” When Jesus gave this commission to the church, He was speaking authoritatively. He gave a mandate to the church of all ages not simply to evangelize but to make disciples. That leads us to a significant question: What is a disciple?
The simplest definition of disciple is one who directs his mind toward specific knowledge and conduct. So, we might say that a disciple is a learner or pupil. The Greek philosophers—people such as Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle—had disciples. Socrates described himself ultimately as a disciple of Homer, the person Socrates regarded as the greatest thinker of all of Greek history.
We tend to think of Homer as a poet rather than a philosopher. But Socrates saw him as the supreme teacher of ancient Greece. Then, of course, Socrates had his own student—his chief disciple—whose name was Plato. Plato had his disciples, the chief one being Aristotle. Aristotle also had his disciples, the most famous being Alexander the Great. It is astonishing to think about how drastically the ancient world was shaped by four men: Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, and Alexander the Great. In fact, it is nearly impossible to understand the history of Western civilization without understanding the influence of those four individuals, who in their own way were each disciples of another.
Aristotle, in particular, was known as a “peripatetic” philosopher. That is, he was a nomadic teacher who walked from place to place, not teaching in a fixed location. The students of Aristotle would follow him as he walked the streets of Athens. In one respect, Aristotle’s disciples lived life with him, learning from him in the course of a normal daily routine.
The aforementioned concepts help illumine the nature of discipleship. However, they fail to capture the full essence of biblical discipleship. Discipleship in the biblical sense involves walking with the Teacher and learning from His words, but it is more than that.
Jesus was a rabbi and, of course, the most important peripatetic teacher and disciple-maker in history. Wherever He walked, His students would follow. At the beginning of Jesus’ public ministry, He chose particular individuals to be His disciples. They were required to memorize the teachings that He spoke as He walked. What’s more, people didn’t file an application to get into the School of Jesus. Jesus selected His disciples. He went to prospective disciples where they were, whether in the marketplace or at their place of work, and give this simple command: “Follow me.” The command was literal—He called them to drop their present duties. They had to leave their work, their families, and their friends in order to follow Jesus.
Jesus was more than just a peripatetic teacher however. His disciples called him “Master.” Their entire way of life changed because of their following Jesus not merely as a great teacher, but as the Lord of all. That’s the essence of discipleship—submitting fully to the authority of Christ, the One whose lordship goes beyond just the classroom. Jesus’ lordship encompasses all of life. The Greek philosophers learned from their teachers but then tried to improve on that teaching. Christ’s disciples have no such warrant. We are called to understand and teach only what God has revealed through Christ, including the Old Testament Scriptures, for they point to Christ; and the New Testament Scriptures, for they are the words of those Christ appointed to speak in His name.
The Great Commission is the call of Christ for His disciples to extend His authority over the whole world. We are to share the gospel with everyone so that more and more people might call Him Master. This calling is not simply a call to evangelism. It isn’t merely a call to get students for our seminaries, our colleges, or for Ligonier Ministries. Rather, Christ calls us to make disciples. Disciples are people who have committed in their hearts and minds to follow the thinking and conduct of the Master forever. Such discipleship is a lifelong experience.
When we’re involved in discipleship, we do not graduate until we get to heaven. Discipleship is a lifelong experience of learning the mind of Christ and following the will of Christ, submitting ourselves in complete obedience to His lordship. Thus, when Jesus tells us to go to all nations, we are to go into all the world with His agenda, not our own. The Great Commission calls us to flood this world with knowledgeable, articulate Christians who worship God and follow Jesus Christ passionately. Our mission at Ligonier is discipleship in the biblical sense. By God’s grace, we want to help the church raise up a generation of people who are dedicated in heart and soul to the Master and His authority. We want to call people to obedience and to following Christ in their daily lives.
by HARVEYOPP | Apr 30, 2016 | Scott Henry
“Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all” (Psalm 34:19).
When the psalmist speaks of afflictions he is not just referring to those that are physical, but also spiritual affliction. Many are the spiritual afflictions of God’s people as we walk by faith in this godless world. We are often afflicted by temptations from without and within. And many days we are greatly afflicted in our souls by the ungodliness and utter rebellion of many people, both within and without the church; even as we read of “righteous Lot, who was oppressed by the filthy conduct of the wicked (for that righteous man, dwelling among them, tormented his righteous soul from day to day by seeing and hearing their lawless deeds)” (2 Peter 2:7-8).
We also struggle with the affliction that takes place within our own soul from day to day as we seek to put off the old desires, habits, and affections, and strive to live according to the new man created in Christ Jesus. Nevertheless, the psalmist declares in our text that ‘the Lord delivers us out of all our afflictions!’ But it’s not so much what type of affliction we bear, but how we bear what God lays upon us in this life. And through looking to Him and pleading His grace, God brings His people into closer fellowship with Himself. And so through the afflictions of this life God causes us, in a wondrous way, to “…taste and see that He is good” (Psalm 34:8). What marvelous grace that causes affliction, both physical and spiritual, to be for our benefit.
Therefore, always remember the Lord is sufficient for all our needs. He has said in Hebrews 13:5: “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” We can count on the Lord, who cannot lie (Titus 1:2), to be our constant guide. He will lead and direct us in the way of truth and down the path of righteousness by His Word. Trust Him! Jesus told His disciples in Matthew 28:20: “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” The Lord will never fail us, but by His Spirit and Word He will be our constant companion, even in the deep waters that He at times calls us to go through. We read a blessed promise the Lord gives His people in Isaiah 43:1-3: “But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior…” Trust Him!
The Heidelberg Catechism says, “What is your only comfort in life and in death? That I, with body and soul, both in life and in death, am not my own, but belong to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ…” This truth is what brings comfort to the Christian … knowing that we belong to our faithful Redeemer, Jesus Christ. He is the Good Shepherd who cares for His sheep. He is worthy of our trust! TRUST HIM! Heaven and earth will pass away but His faithful Word NEVER will. Look to Him this day and always, “casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). And when we diligently and dependently come before our Great Redeemer, Sovereign Defender, and Gentle Shepherd in prayer, He alone will give us the quiet mind and peaceful rest we so earnestly seek. As the Apostle Paul wrote in Phil. 4:6-7: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” What words are left to be said but TRUST HIM!
by HARVEYOPP | Mar 26, 2016 | Paul Tripp
We’re nearing the end of March, a month dedicated to Five Words That Change Families. We’ve looked at Surrender, Purpose and Discipline, and today’s word is essential to the previous three: PATIENCE.
Surrendering our desires to the Lord won’t come naturally to us, nor to our spouse. Pursuing God’s purpose won’t be a simple call for us, nor for our children. Disciplining ourselves to say no to indulging the pleasures of the flesh will be a significant struggle for us, as it will be for our siblings and parents.
Unless you live alone, you will experience firsthand the moral deficiencies of those you love. Their sin will splash into your life, either directly or indirectly. They will experience the same from you. So, if you’re going to exist as a family of unity, peace and love, you need to be a family rooted in patience.
Here are four basic principles to remember:
- God has been patient with us. The patience of the Lord is referenced all throughout Scripture. Numbers 14:18, Psalm 86:15, Nahum 1:3, Romans 2:4 and 2 Peter 3:9 are just a few examples. But those verses aren’t historic, as if we look back in time and learn about who God was. Those verses reveal who God is with us right here, right now. Because God is patient with us as we stumble, so we must be patient with our family members as they mature in grace.
- Only God can change your family. In Psalm 51:10 David prays, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” Isn’t it interesting that David doesn’t promise God that he’s going to change? Rather, he pleads with God to create a new heart and a new spirit within him. David was onto something – only God can produce change in a person. We don’t have the ability to change ourselves, nevertheless our family members who live with us.
- Our attempts to change others result in damage. Despite what Scripture says, we still try our best to change of our family members. We do that with threats, accusations, manipulation, guilt, and a variety of other techniques. We think that if we yell loudly enough, punish harshly enough, or mope long enough, our family members will change. Perhaps for a moment they will alter their behavior and we’ll get what we want, but that won’t last. Sadly, what often lasts longer is relational hurt and bitterness.
- Patience requires waiting. If you’re going to extend patient grace to your family members, you have to be willing to wait. God will change the heart of your spouse, he will mature your children, and he will grow your parents and siblings … but he will do so in his perfect timing. The winds of the Holy Spirit will blow in conviction, as his Word promises, but he won’t consult you first and ask when you want it to take place. Patience will require you to wait on the Lord.
Maybe you’re thinking, “Paul, that doesn’t sound very helpful. Am I just supposed to sit around and do nothing?” No, don’t get me wrong – patience is not a synonym for inactivity. You need to have loving but honest conversations with your spouse about marital conflict. You need to discipline your children and correct wrong behavior. You need to respectfully confront your parents and siblings when their sin splashes into your life.
But, the one thing you can’t do is change their hearts. For that, you have to wait patiently on the One who is wise and faithful and present and good. His timing is always right.
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